Have a question for you…

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To set this up…

At the local LGBT community center they have a dance for lesbians that happens about every three months. I went about six months ago and had a blast. I mentioned it in my very first post about the girl who asked me to dance a few times. So Saturday was another dance. I went again, of course. Me being me, I stood in the corner most of the night because I am shy. I really am shy, I swear I am. 🙂 There was a woman who came over and asked me to dance and I of course said yes. She had dimples and beautiful blue eyes….I’m not stupid, well maybe but that part is coming next. We danced to a few songs. She was getting close and grabbed my hand at one time and we were kind of dancing kind of swing, sort of. We were laughing and making eye contact and everything. She told me about this other dance that is every Thursday, it’s really fun. Country music and asked if I two step and I said I know the concept behind it but never actually done it. Went back to our individual tables. Then she came back a little bit later and said come one let’s dance and I was you bet. Again dancing and talking. Went back to our tables again. Then the dance was over and I stopped by her table to tell her thank you for the dance. And I left.

Now on to the stupid….or at least I think. Now the question.

I thought she was just being nice and felt sorry for me because I was standing by myself all night, but as I was driving home it kind of hit me.

Was it more than that?

Was she like hitting on me?

Was she interested?

OH FUDGE! (okay so I cleaned that up for you)

Did I screw up? Did I just miss an opportunity to get to know a beautiful woman better? Am I brain dead?

Maybe she was just being nice…maybe she wasn’t. I just don’t know when someone is hitting on me or when they are interested in me. Working as a parts driver in the past I dealt with men all day and I flirted with them because then they would be nicer and would buy more parts. Comes with the job and sometimes they would buy lunch. Free meal, hello! But, it was always known that it was nothing more than flirting so I think over time I became oblivious to it. Experienced it all day and it never affected me. Besides the fact that they were men. It was usually a hell of a lot more crude.

But, how do you know when someone is genuinely interested in you? Especially at a dance like this. You dance with people, that’s the point. Is it a given that when someone asks you to dance they are interested? We were making eye contact most of the night before she asked me to dance. Does that mean something? I look at everyone in the eyes at least once. People walk by and glance at me I will smile and make eye contact. Just a given. But, in this situation is it something different? I mean for me I was making eye contact because she was beautiful and dimples…..yummmm! I was interested.

This has had me perplexed since Saturday night. Mostly because how the hell am I ever going to find that special someone if I keep missing the signs that they are interested. I feel like I am standing in the middle of the freeway and all these cars (ie hot women) are flying by and I am like, oh shit traffic!

Yes, I can hear people saying…if I am interested then I should be approaching them. I mentioned I was shy, didn’t I? I know I did. I guess it’s the fear of rejection. Of course it’s the fear. How do you get past that? And since I am horrible at reading the signs, am I going to have to ask every girl for her number? I don’t know!!

 

So, I will bring all this rambling down to just one question, even though there is about a thousand in this post. 🙂

Should I have asked for her number?

 

Have a great day 🙂 Much love!

JustMe

I want a woman….

I hear a lot of woman talking about what they want a future significant other to do for them.

  • I want a woman who will shower me in flowers.
  • I want a woman who will take me out on the town.
  • I want a woman who will kiss me passionately.

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And every time I hear it, I think…Would you do that?

  • Would you shower them in flowers?
  • Would you take them out on the town?
  • Would you kiss them passionately?

 

Most of them probably would. But, wouldn’t it be better to focus on what you would do for them? I try to think of the things that I will do for my future girlfriend. Not what I want them to do for me. To me that is taking an active participation in the relationship, not sitting back and waiting for things to happen. I can’t control how someone is going to love me but I can control how I will love someone. I wouldn’t want them questioning if I love them or not and am going to do everything I can imagine to make sure they never do. Yes, I want to shower my girlfriend/wife in flowers. I want to take them out on the town for a romantic dinner and a walk on the beach. I want to kiss them passionately that they feel it in their toes. I want to walk up behind them and wrap my arms around them just to show them that I wanted to feel them close and to know I was thinking of them at that exact moment.

If I have these ideals of what I want them to do, I may be setting myself up for disappointment. People can’t read minds so how are they going to know that you want these things. You tell them? Doesn’t that then take away the spark of it. That is also writing a script for the relationship, what fun is there in that? There has to be spontaneity in a relationship. That is how you make those special moments that will last a lifetime. When you two are old and grey and rocking in your chairs on the porch, those are the moments that you will look back on remember fondly. Not the moments that you scripted out in your mind before they happened. 

Sure we all these little fantasies in our minds of how we want our wedding day to look. What we want the first kiss to be like. How we fall asleep next to the love of our life every night. I am not saying don’t think about these things. Just give equal time to what you are going to do for the love of your life. Plan out now what you will do for the love of your life before you meet them, not set up a round of hoops they have to jump through from the get go.

 

So, what is the one thing that you want to do for the love of your life? Be it you already have them or haven’t found them yet, what are you going to do for them to show them you love them?

What do you mean you don’t text?

“I don’t text.”

Are you speaking a foreign language?

You must be.

Because I swear you just said you DON’T text. Image

So I am finding out a few pet peeves that I have that I really didn’t know I had. Well basically because I have never been confronted with them before.

I have been talking with this girl for a little over a month now, mostly through Facebook and phone. So one day I asked her if she texts. Her response was “No, I don’t text.”

Wait, what?

It took about an hour for this to sink in. And literally the conversation in my head was, Did she really say she doesn’t text? That can’t be right. Everyone text. Well except my mother, but she’s 76 and though her non-texting still kind of annoys me, I understand. But, this woman. But…..but……WTF?

I even talked to Bona about it last night and she gave me the same look that I imagined I had when she told me she didn’t text. That look like we were both looking at someone with a third eye.

Yes, I understand some people can over use and abuse it. Texting every second of the day and freaking out when someone doesn’t text right back and so on and so on. But, not to text at ALL?

I mean texting can be that perfect little communication that lets someone know you are on the way without stopping and making a phone call and have it turn into some long draw out conversation. Well, I am not on my way now because I am on the phone with you talking about your doctors appointment that you had today. We could be having this conversation in person because if you texted and I would have sent one saying I was on my way, I WOULD ALREADY BE THERE!

It’s also the perfect little communication to send to someone telling them that you are thinking about them. Can’t call right now…wrong place or time to do that, but a text…. perfect for just about any place or time. It’s a great tool to use to say “hey, you’re in my thoughts.” I mean don’t send that twenty times in a day…that’s creepy and stalkish. But, to send someone that you are interested in a quick little note is to me very sweet and always brings a smile to my face. It’s one of those…….awwwww, how sweet moments. And I truthfully believe that you should want to give those moments to someone you are interested in or special in your life. Otherwise they may think I’m just not that into them when I very much am. What kind of fool would be totally into someone and not try to do little things, or big things, to let them know exactly that.

Like I tell everyone…mind reading costs extra. I am not going to sit over here and try to guess what you are thinking or feeling. Because trust me, humans will inherently go to the negative end of the spectrum. They will think a thousand horrible, negative thoughts before they ever get to the positive side. Kind of like your mom always said “Just call to let me know you are ok, that way I don’t think you are dead in a ditch somewhere.” SAME CONCEPT. Though I am sure mom’s say just text now instead of call. It’s just the progression of the society and world we live in.

Hi, welcome to the year 2013. Please have your phones available and have your text feature poised and ready!

So, in conclusion….Not texting is a pet peeve of mine. And just about a deal breaker for me. And for this woman it is a deal breaker. If this stood alone I could over look it and learn to live with it…but when you talk about your ex constantly and not call for days on end and then send me a Facebook message constantly saying “I will call you after”, whatever the new “after” is and then not call at all. Wow that texting thing, just became a deal breaker. Sorry, moving along!